Insomniac
It's one of those nights. When my body is terribly tired, my mind had already mind shut down...but I just can't sleep!! I really want to sleep...not thinking of anything, clearing my thoughts...just when I was about to doze off, my mind went 'Yayyy!! I'm falling asleep!!!'...then I became conscious of falling asleep. My eyes would just refuse to cooperate with me. My brain is in its rebellious mode.
Just falling asleep becomes a battle for me in these kind of nights. 5 minutes feels like an hour. Usually it lasts for 1-2.5 hours. Sometimes 3-5 hours. Just imagine....5 minutes=1 hour. 2 hours=24 hours....5 hours=2.5days!!!! Waaaarrgghhh!!! I tried sleeping on my back, staying still, not wanting to move much cos it'll make me more anxious. Sometimes I tossed and turned, cursing the 'tick-tocks' of the clock on my desk...somehow the sounds were 100 times louder than usual. I used to chucked the clock in my wardrobe cupboard under the piles of clothes so that I wouldn't hear it at night. It's just annoying to hear the 'tick-tocks'...to know that the times is passing me by..without me being able to do anything...not even rest...not even sleep.
Called Bee...wanted to hear his voice. But I was too irritated and annoyed cos I was so tired...I was grumpy and I felt bad for almost snapping at him (or did I?) *I'm so sorry baby*. My neck hurts...again. Strained my neck muscle 3-4 days ago...such a pain in the neck...literally. I'm tempted to swallow 3-4 of those Nytol One-a-night tabs. There was once I felt so fed-up of not being able to sleep I took 6 of those pills *bearing in mind it's not sleeping pill as such, I'm not suicidal, but I think I could actually murder someone when I'm in this state*.
Well, I got up and ate those leftover nasi lemak I made yesterday. Didn't really have proper dinner today, I had one bowl of cereal and a couple of digestive biscuits with tea. Hmmm...can't go straight to sleep after eating can't I? So, I watched Bridget Jones Diary-one movie that I always turn to when I want to make myself feel less guilty after eating supper at 1 am. I can be 'curvy' and still have my Mr. Darcy, can't I? *in my case is Mr. B....hehe :p* Watched it half-way...when I felt somehow I have watched it too many times already that I memorised the script and even can mimic Bridget singing to 'All by myself' while playing air guitar and drums in her pyjama. I really should buy new DVDs. I have been watching Bridget Jones Diary, Sleepless in Seattle, Love Actually and My Best Friend Wedding every few weeks for the past 3 years. I got a few others (Shawshank Redemptions, Erin Brockovich, My Big Fat Greek Wedding, The Bourne Identity etc.), but these 4 are my favourites. Still waiting for good offers to buy more Tom Hanks films, and more rom-coms (romantic comedies)...all the feel good movies....or should I say the chick-flicks...haha.
Hmmm..maybe I should finish reading that book 'The Sunday Philosophy Club' by Alexander McCall Smith. This is the first of his book that I bought, have been curious about his books for quite some time. The last book I read was 'The Family Way' by Tony Parson. That was more than a month ago. I love his books...just simple, everyday life. The things we always take for granted. Husband and Wife. Mother and Daughter. Sisters. Brothers. Makes me a bit sentimental...hehe. Still waiting for more novels from Tess Gerrittsen...for her books...I'll make myself free for the whole day so that I can finish her book in one sitting. Gripping medical thriller usually...sorta CSI kinda thing...maybe I should consider being a pathologist....haha :p
Can't think now. Need sleep. Me. Go. Lie down.
Beautiful rainbow
I was talking to Bee when my friend WS burst into my room shouting at me " Minimeee!!!!!come out now!!! you've got to see this!!! faster faster!!!" it sounded so important she was literally jumping up and down hurrying me to come out from the room. When I came out the room...a magnificent sight greeted me...
A big rainbow...I tell you..really big rainbow....thick fat colourful rainbow...I quickly took out my camera, by the time I snapped it, it was already fading a little bit, but it still looks gorgeous....
THere's another faint one next to it..dunno if it's just the reflection, but if you look at it carefully, there's another one there.
Notice how one side of the sky looks darker than the other, separated by the rainbow. I wonder how it becomes like that...looks amazing...Subhanallah
It was raining really heavy this morning....thick fat rain...the rare ones that we got here in UK...usually it's the drizzly heavy rain...but today it was almost like the monsoon rain we get back home. I love rainbow!!! reminds me there's always something beautiful that awaits us after a stormy night or any miserable weather...the only thing we have to do is hang in there...pray...and hang in there...
*I'm loving my rainbow ^_^*
I'm dreaming of a white Raya :p
Last night I dreamt it was snowing!!!!!!!! I looked out the window, and there it is...white....fluffy white snow covered ground...fluffs of snowflakes falling down out of nowhere. I can smell it...I love the smell of snow...the chilly air woke me up, giving me the burst of energy in the fine morning. The frst thing I did was to open my window, and caught a few snowflakes and tasted it...hehe..I know..sounds weird, but I love tasting the snow. Then I took out the camera and snapped a few pictures for my Bee ^_^
I woke up after that...looked out the window...there's no snow. Sighh....
Sushi disaster
Have been wanting to post these pics for almost a week now. Sis came for Raya for 4 days, had good fun cooking Raya meal, invited a couple of friends, went out for 2 (kiddy) movies hehe...(Wallace and Grommit highly recommended for the kiddies at heart :p) . Sis came with her tatami mat in her attempt to teach me the 'art' of sushi making...
My first attempt....disaster..haha...half of the sushi ended up in my tummy..ate it like I do 'nasi campur' ...hehehe
Second roll...looks a bit promising...err...doesn't it?
A wee bit better from the first I must say....hehe... really ah? :p
More than an hour later..phew.....I must say....sushi making tested my patience..which I don't have a lot of...:p I still prefer the old 'nasi campur'..thank you very much...
And that one full tupperware of sushi we brought it to the Bonfire night last Saturday, with one bottle of Amoy Dark Soy Sauce...hehe...sitting on a wet bench by the beach in the cold drizzly and windy night while watching fireworks, enjoying the cold sushi (they were veryy nice...surprisingly) ... ahhh... joy.... hehehe... silly things that we do when we're away from home....:p
The firework display was great...would have been better if it wasn't too flippin' cold. I would have taken more pictures if it wasn't for my frozen hands...
A pathetic attempt at taking the fireworks pictures...
It was a great night all the same...had fun watching Nanny McFee during the day, then walked around the city centre, there were French Market..selling french stuff...hehe...sis had banana and chocolate crepes...helped myself to various flavoured cheese (they were tomato and basil cheese, parsley and onion, garlic and something else...and a disgusting ginger cheese ones..yekk...sort of sweet tangy cheese...I love ginger..but ginger cheese?? :p) made 2-3 rounds, kept coming back for different ones...:p ...they should let us taste the olives too...hehe..then I'd be there the whole day...hehe. Had prawnies (expensive wooo...6 little fake-prawns cooked in olive oil with herbs and garlic for 2.50 quids...why did I buy it? dunno...tasty tho...hehe). My friend bought Danish pancakes..little cuties they were...little fluff of pancakes topped with maple sauce and whipped cream, and some topped with strawberry sauce..yum yummm.... There weren't a lot of stalls compared to various years...it's getting less every year. They used to have soup stall ( crab soup, prawn soup...hmmm...sounds nice during this cold cold weather..), creme brulee, and more interesting stuffs...not anymore tho.
All the while I enjoyed myself...but couldn't help missing someone...^_^ wishing so hard he could be enjoying all that as well....with me. The movies, the walks, cheese-tasting..:p, eating crepes and prawnies...and watching the fireworks while enjoying my home-made sushi...:p
*Every steps I take, my dear*
Homesick(2)
Right at this moment, mum and dad is preparing for our open house tomorrow.
Esok Hari Raya!!!! I want to raya also...this homesickness is getting worse every passing minute. Last night, talking to mum, dad, brother at home and also sis in Galway....all five of us...sighh....I miss them badly. Sis is more desperate than me..bought tickets to come to Aberdeen that very minute...hehe...sis is coming for raya tomorrow...yayyyy!!! My...I really miss home...so so much that my heart sank everytime I think of home...*sob sob* (now listening to raya songs....sigh....
menyeksa diri sendiri...)
Hmm....mum said some of her staff will be helping her tomorrow for the open house..usually starts at 11am, after coming back from Raya prayers and going to visit our grandparents' kubur. Always have the first raya meal at home, together all five of us. My favourite raya meal would be
'Daging Masak Hitam' with
lemang or
ketupat nasi. Of course we'll have all the traditinal
rendang,kuah kacang and
curry as well. Then we would sit in my parents room, mum will salam my dad to ask for forgiveness, then me..followed by my sis and brother....my brother is bad at asking for forgiveness...hehhee...he'll just grunt..like
'uh...sorry mak, sorry pak' then he'll go hehehee....hmmm...men. then go to Auty's place where all our relatives will gather. I imagine then
duit raya exchange...hehe...then raya meal again.
Then, go home to prepare for first guest. My mum's and dad's collegues like to come in 4-5 cars at once...isk..then like 10 minutes later another and another..non-stop. Me..being the anti-social one..hehe..would wash the plates clean, then wipe them spotless..sampai berkilat-kilat gitu..bearing in mind that I hate washing dishes.
Malu...I rather wash dishes than play hostess...hehe...that's me. Sometime I'll have to come out from my comfort zone (the kitchen) and play hostess when mum and sister is too tired or doing something else. Ugh..how I dreaded playing hostess that time..now I'd give anything to do all that...sigh...I'd even play the fun babysitter...(bearing in mind I can't stand screaming children...huhuhu). The guests will keep coming until Maghrib...and will continue a bit after that..until around 11 pm. Hmmm...I wonder if mum and dad can entertain guests until that late now...it'll be a bit quiet with me and sis not around. My brother will be out with his friends of course...
kesian mum and dad...sigh...I hope I can spend raya with them next year..InsyaAllah.
Second day will be our visiting day. All of us in the car...just perfect 5 of us in the car. We never change our spots since I can remember. Dad will be driving of course (he can't stand being drive around), mum in the front seat. My spot will be near the left window, sis the right window and my brother will be the '
malang' one, have to sit in the middle...hehe...(the middle seat is not as comfortable usually..:p). We'll go around my mum's and dad's collegues' houses from 11am till about 4pm. Then have a bit of rest, and during the night will continue visiting houses..especially our relatives. I won't start on the foods...*drooling...*. I won't torture myself now.
Sigh...so much more I want to write...so many memories...going around on 3rd or 4th with my friends to visit each other's houses and the teacher's houses as well. I'm usually one of the drivers...sigh...hehe. Not that I mind doing it cos I love driving...at least I won't be worrying about the driver going too fast or anything...hehe..I'm quite a
maknenek when it comes to driving. My sis and brother said I drive like kura-kura. I'm the slowest driver in my family. Mum drives the fastest...she drives as if I'm delivering twins at the end of the other of the road. My dad, sis and brother also drive so fast I always have my legs straight in front of me as if willing the brakes to be pushed by my inner power...*whatever*. Anyway...visiting houses with my friends is also one of the thing I really missed. This year I invited my friends to come to my open house tomorrow...just like old days *minus me of course...huhuhuhuhuhu*
Hmmm....I need to tidy my room for sis tomorrow. Oh my...I miss home soo much. This is the worst homesick ever.
*haha..was talking to my brother on YM when he said "
tak best lah rumah takde tisu bunga-bunga (referring to my tulip tissue arrangement-refer to previous entry),
semua org tak reti buat"...can't help but feeling so pleased that my humble 'artwork' is sorely missed...hehe...*
....to be continued (maybe :p)
