SIZE4

Insomniac

It's one of those nights. When my body is terribly tired, my mind had already mind shut down...but I just can't sleep!! I really want to sleep...not thinking of anything, clearing my thoughts...just when I was about to doze off, my mind went 'Yayyy!! I'm falling asleep!!!'...then I became conscious of falling asleep. My eyes would just refuse to cooperate with me. My brain is in its rebellious mode.

Just falling asleep becomes a battle for me in these kind of nights. 5 minutes feels like an hour. Usually it lasts for 1-2.5 hours. Sometimes 3-5 hours. Just imagine....5 minutes=1 hour. 2 hours=24 hours....5 hours=2.5days!!!! Waaaarrgghhh!!! I tried sleeping on my back, staying still, not wanting to move much cos it'll make me more anxious. Sometimes I tossed and turned, cursing the 'tick-tocks' of the clock on my desk...somehow the sounds were 100 times louder than usual. I used to chucked the clock in my wardrobe cupboard under the piles of clothes so that I wouldn't hear it at night. It's just annoying to hear the 'tick-tocks'...to know that the times is passing me by..without me being able to do anything...not even rest...not even sleep.

Called Bee...wanted to hear his voice. But I was too irritated and annoyed cos I was so tired...I was grumpy and I felt bad for almost snapping at him (or did I?) *I'm so sorry baby*. My neck hurts...again. Strained my neck muscle 3-4 days ago...such a pain in the neck...literally. I'm tempted to swallow 3-4 of those Nytol One-a-night tabs. There was once I felt so fed-up of not being able to sleep I took 6 of those pills *bearing in mind it's not sleeping pill as such, I'm not suicidal, but I think I could actually murder someone when I'm in this state*.

Well, I got up and ate those leftover nasi lemak I made yesterday. Didn't really have proper dinner today, I had one bowl of cereal and a couple of digestive biscuits with tea. Hmmm...can't go straight to sleep after eating can't I? So, I watched Bridget Jones Diary-one movie that I always turn to when I want to make myself feel less guilty after eating supper at 1 am. I can be 'curvy' and still have my Mr. Darcy, can't I? *in my case is Mr. B....hehe :p* Watched it half-way...when I felt somehow I have watched it too many times already that I memorised the script and even can mimic Bridget singing to 'All by myself' while playing air guitar and drums in her pyjama. I really should buy new DVDs. I have been watching Bridget Jones Diary, Sleepless in Seattle, Love Actually and My Best Friend Wedding every few weeks for the past 3 years. I got a few others (Shawshank Redemptions, Erin Brockovich, My Big Fat Greek Wedding, The Bourne Identity etc.), but these 4 are my favourites. Still waiting for good offers to buy more Tom Hanks films, and more rom-coms (romantic comedies)...all the feel good movies....or should I say the chick-flicks...haha.

Hmmm..maybe I should finish reading that book 'The Sunday Philosophy Club' by Alexander McCall Smith. This is the first of his book that I bought, have been curious about his books for quite some time. The last book I read was 'The Family Way' by Tony Parson. That was more than a month ago. I love his books...just simple, everyday life. The things we always take for granted. Husband and Wife. Mother and Daughter. Sisters. Brothers. Makes me a bit sentimental...hehe. Still waiting for more novels from Tess Gerrittsen...for her books...I'll make myself free for the whole day so that I can finish her book in one sitting. Gripping medical thriller usually...sorta CSI kinda thing...maybe I should consider being a pathologist....haha :p

Can't think now. Need sleep. Me. Go. Lie down.

posted by miniME @ 2:15 AM