SIZE4

Homesick

Feeling a dreadful homesickness. Accumulation of almost 5 years worth of being selfish and self-absorbed...not thinking of home as much as I ought to...finally..it hits me...HARD.

I MISS HOME!!!

Not that I haven't been home, I just came back from home 2 months ago. It's just this coming Raya celebration. I was listening to all the Raya songs...first few songs were kinda fun...festive. A bit nostalgic thinking of the times of the last week of Ramadhan...preparing the house. Dad..always with his garden and fishpond...his pride and joy. Will be the centre of attention every Raya, people will be crowding outside the house to admire his work..the fishpond full of Tilapia fish...free for anyone who are smart enough to 'bodek' my dad.

Fresh Tilapia fish is just simply mouthwatering..yumm...sweetsour Tilapia...me, my sis and bro's favourite. My brother especially, being the lazybum of the house would even be determine enough to have a 30 minutes war in the fishpond to catch the fish for dinner..hehe..such determination should be rewarded. So, my mum or I would cook the nicest sweet and sour Tilapia for the whole family to enjoy (me and sis would always fight for the fish tail...hehe...love fishtail..not the tail as such, but the meaty part at the end of the fish, whatever you call it :p)

Anyway, back to Raya preparation...yeah..dad would be trimming his garden or his beloved bonsai plants. He's a passionate bonsai lover...(mum said no wonder their kids are all bonsai size...miniatures..kehkeh except for bro of course..not fair...isk). Mum would be preparing the kitchen, dining room ect for open house. And oh, she'd be spending a lot of time in her little corner (not so little anymore) of orchids near the garden...making sure all the orchids are ready for display so that they can compete with dad's fishpond and bonsai...heheh. My sister would be the chief decorator of the whole house...anything she says, goes. I would be doing little insignificant things here and there...trying to look helpful..(cos I'm hopeless when it comes to tidying up and cleaning and decorating...hehe). My favourite task before Raya is folding the napkin and arranging it into a big lotus flower...wooo..my pride and joy..heheh. Even though it's hardly a competition with my dad's fishpond and bonsai or my sis's house art deco, it's my work all the same..heheh. My brother...will be helpful by sitting in front of the computer and playing games, or out with his friend helping with his friend's Raya preparation...tsk tsk tsk...that guy have got to learn his priority...hehe. Well...he's not that bad...he would be helpful enough if me, sis, mum and dad 'membebel' at the same time at him....heheh.

In my village (not really a traditional village as such, but I like to call it that..cos thats how it feels like..warm and friendly), every Raya there will be rows of oil lamps along the road, in front of all houses. There will always be a competitions of having the most beautiful and consistent rows of oil lamps between the villages in my small town. Then, the village's young lads will actually have something useful to do besides sitting around at the side of the road wooing young girls who pass by. My brother, will always join these lads going around the village making sure the oil lamps are lighted and keeping the other village's lads from sabotaging our village's lamps by mixing water with the oils. Such sense of belonging and 'determination' to win among the lads...if only they apply it into doing business or something more useful...heheh...they are nice guys mostly (especially individually)..the only thing is guys tend to become jerks when they are in a group...why ah? I wonder if my brother acts like those lads when he's with them. He can be pain in the a** sometime...hehe

That was 5 years ago...I wonder if it is still like that. With me and my sister away from home, I think my brother is beginning to appreciate us more...well..I am beginning to appreciate him more. I was never the 'cool big sis' to him...always the 'garang' one. But now, after spending so much time apart, somehow the distance brought us closer, especially the last two years. About three weeks ago I talked to him on the phone. My brother said "Bila kakak nak habis study? balik Malaysia cepat2...boring lah raya sorang2" (In other word, I miss you lah kakak...heheheh :p) I wish I could promise him I'm coming back home soon, that I will be spending the Raya with the family...how I wish I could. But I just said to him "Doa je lah kakak pass exam next year,pastu dapat kerja then, dapat duit nak balik Raya next year, ok? Kalau kakak kaya, Hadi (bukan nama sebenar :p) jugak yang kaya kan?" heheh....ade ke bribe adik sendiri suruh doa...isk . Despite being supposedly macho (skinny) 19 year-old, deep down my bro is still the same smelly little pudgy thing he was 15 years ago....hehe...me and my sis's 'live model' to dress-up and to try our talent on being make-up artists. Poor Hadi always ended up looking like a weird alien baby with makeups, a hat, a handbag and our old dress put on him. Until now, he never got over the idea of being bullied by his two older sister who are now midgets to him.

Sigh...I miss those days. I miss being at home...the feel of comfort and safety. Even though I rarely give it much thought when I'm away...it always welcomes me...with the warmest welcome I could ever get. I miss everything at home, the cat, the fishes, the garden, the mango tree, rambutan and cempedak tree at the back garden, my room, the living room, the kitchen, the cars, the non-functioning piano under the stairs, the familiar smell my mum's favourite potpourri...and mostly, the people in it..mum, dad, my sister and brother.

I wonder when we're gonna have the whole family together again...on Hari Raya.

...to be continued (hopefully :p)

posted by miniME @ 4:15 AM