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Ramadhan thoughts...

Wishing Selamat Menyambut Bulan Ramadhan to all...

How I wish I'd be home, this month...when mama or papa would knock on everyone's door at 4.00 am for sahur. Even if you don't feel like eating anything at the wee hours in the morning...everyone has to sit down together at the table. Like it or not, me, sis n bro will somehow end up eating something. At least the fried chicken with rice...hmm..yummm..simple..but it's the only thing that can go down at that hour. Then, some fruits and soya bean drink to wash it all down. The cat, Benge would be meowing outside, hoping to be fed as well...happy to hear the whole household waking up at that odd hour.

After sahur, mama and papa would stay up reading the Quran, waiting for Subuh. I always ended up craving for something to eat just a few seconds before the azan Subuh can be heard. The last time I spent Ramadhan at home was 4 years ago...how I miss it. Favourite time of the day, going to Pasar Ramadhan...salivating over the smell of ikan bakar, satay, rojak, mee jawa(droolinngggg....), nasi lemak, laksa, murtabak, all the kuih-muih, and ahh...cendol. Isk.. I can't remember what else is in Pasar Ramadhan..huhuhu...*salivating already..hehe*

Of course...I will always try to be a better Muslimah during this month. I know I'm suppose to try hard to be that all the time...I'm only human. I have a lot of flaws, still not free from sins and regrets. Thankfully, I am blessed with at least having conscience and insights of what I'm doing. My wrongdoings, are not done without guilt...without praying for forgiveness. I try hard not to make the same mistakes more than once.

But, just like a child, I will still climb up the chair for the sweets on the table even though my parents warn me against it. How many times I have to fall and cut or bruise myself to listen to my parents? I don't know. What I do know, I will vow to myself to be good, everytime I fall...and get picked up by my parents..I promise myself to be a better daughter for them, not to dissappoint them. Even though somehow mistakes will be made again, I can only hope and pray that everything will turn out alright. Maybe it is wrong for me to think that way, but I'm trying...I know I'm trying.

How many lessons God needs to give me for me to learn, I don't know. What I know is everytime I had a lesson, I will learn something. Maybe I will not get the whole message...but I'll pick it up piece by piece, like a jigsaw puzzle. Each piece have to be earned the hard way. The next piece of the puzzle, I pray will fall in the right place...I promise myself I'll work hard on it. I know it won't come easy, sacrifices need to be made...but I know in my heart, it is the perfect piece. Not the last piece yet, but an important piece that will make sense of everything in my life.

For this Ramadhan, I only pray for one thing. Give me strength....to be a better person, to be a good daughter to my parents and to bring happiness to my family, friends and that special someone.

posted by miniME @ 8:37 PM