Candle in the wind
“My candle burns at both ends,It will not last the night,
But ah my foes and oh my friends,
It gives a lovely light…” –roald dahl-
Yes…it does…it gives me a lovely light. Such a beautiful light, glowing nicely, it warms me deep in my heart. Although…I know it will not last the night, it is not meant to be forever…I have accepted it. It has ended the moment it began…yet I am still holding onto an invisible rope that hangs at the edge of the cliff.
Until that rope disappears, I’ll just hold on, praying for a miraculous escape. After that, when I can’t hold on to it anymore or if the rope tears on me, I’ll just fall…just like I did the last time. How hard I do not know, for I don’t know how real this is for me. I just know that whatever happens, he’ll be there for me. It doesn’t matter whether he’s with me picking up the pieces, or is just watching me from afar giving me silent wishes and encouragement…it doesn’t matter. This, I know is someone who really cares and I can feel it strongly in my heart. For that, I thank you.
Why oh why I asked The Almighty repeatedly…why this? Why give me something that is not meant for me..something that You’ll take back. …for these questions I asked of You…I am sorry I am after all is just human. I only ask when I am lost…and now I am. This ‘thing’…is still too new, fragile…like a baby. I don’t have the strength, nor the courage to nurture it. Time, distance and the important things/persons in our lives…are all against this. Those are things that we cannot change. If only time is on my side…I’d like to see where this path is leading me to….
“I do not ask to walk smooth paths,
Nor bear an easy load,
I pray for strength and fortitude,
To climb the rock-strewn road….” –Gail Brook Burket-
Alas, time is not mine to control. All I have now is his hands on mine…for just a little while. I am grateful for that. And when the time comes for us to let go, I’ll do it with a very heavy heart…knowing that I have lost an angel who has been watching me for all this years, without me knowing it.
The candle is still burning, although I can see it's getting smaller. Funnily enough, the light is getting brighter as it gets towards the end. Sadly, the wind is getting stronger as well...soon..the light will flicker and like it or not...it will die. This will die...I am sorry to say this...for love...feeds on hope. Hope is what I can't see between us.
I thank you for the light.
2 Comments:
nanti bila balik sini, I'll hand over my torchlight .. tak yah pakai candle ok :) hang in there.. lepas stormy weather mesti ada sun shine. look forward to it!!
km...i'm looking forward to see u.gimme ur torchlight..hehe.. :)
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