What do I do now?
I have to confess, I MISS WORK!!I miss my routine morning coffee.
I miss the green scrubs.
I miss my stethoscope.
I miss the needles
I miss juicy fat veins
I miss the smell of alcohol rub...hmm...
I miss the beeping of the monitors
I miss the adrenaline rush whenever I hear the trauma calls
I miss signing off the prescription chart
I miss hearing patients/relatives saying thank you doc
I miss nice nurses and doctors
What I don't miss...
I don't miss ward rounds at all
I don't miss the bleeps
I don't miss not being able to sleep when I want to
I don't miss certifying death
I don't miss breaking bad news
I don't miss nightmare patients/relatives
I don't miss poking patient's eyes with green needles
I just miss being myself. It is difficult to identify myself without a job...it is quite ironic as I've been saying that it is just a job...which it still is...I just didn't quite realise how much I depend on it...(financially..goes without saying), but also for my own sanity and confidence. I definitiely do not want to be one of those people who breathes and lives because of their job...the only thing is I'm not sure if it possible to have a balanced lifestyle working here in Malaysia as a doctor. Maybe as a consultant or reg...but I have yet to hear a good word from any of my doctor friends here. LOADS of horror stories...yes...never a good word. Call me chicken, lembik whatever....but I am a person who cannot stand being bullied(not anymore) and I wish to love my job, not hate it to death. I either will shout back or cry if I'm shouted at (and apparently we are supposed to just stay as quiet as a mouse or only say you're sorry for whatever reason you're being shouted at). 8 months of that in Singapore and that was enough to send me packing to New Zealand.
I don't know if I can do that again...
*Life is just too short to be unhappy*
posted by miniME @ 2:31 AM
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