Love letters
It's spring cleaning today...well..for my room. I've got so much stuff in the room I don't know what to do with them. Getting things out from boxes full of stuff from childhood, teenage years...ahh....the years I can never call my own again. I found stacks of letters from primary school untili my pre-university years.I was such a silly girl..I started getting love letters when I was in primary four or five I think. Hehe...I still got them my goodness...I read some of them today. Such innocent and sweet things these future cassanovas used to write when they were little....butter wouldn't have melted in their mouth. Handmade cards...very nice and creative. I wonder if kids these days still use their hands and brain other than for computers and books and studying.
Then there are letters from my dear friends...in secondary school, then pre-uni...I surprised my self, I forgot how many friends I had then...how close I was to them and how friendship used to be so simple without any agenda. How did we grow so far apart, life slowly took us away from each other. Decision we took somehow lead us to different places...and by God how different it is. Didn't realise how we can become strangers...we didn't even say goodbye as friends. From friends...to just someone I used to know. I know I didn't try hard enough to keep my friends. After pre-uni, I left the country, had a totally different life and I know I changed 180 degrees. Well, I used to be nicer.
My perspective in life is marred by cumulative bad experiences...mine and others. I didn't realise how I've turned into this cynical little woman but yet still have this hope that I will eventually be content with what life have given me.
For now....I'll just keep going until something stops me.
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Throwing these stuff is the hardest. I couldn't bring myself to do it...so I just kept them in the boxes. Letters, cards, photos, notes, diaries...u name it, I have them..from priamry school until now. I manage to throw scraps of papers, some receipts from purchases I made donkey years ago, movie tickets ( literally have to force myself to do it...), old magazines and journals ( I saved more than half of them)...it's like throwing away pieces of my past...but it's not that easy and I'm not so sure that's what I want to do now.
*Listening to 'Everybody's Changing' while writing this*
posted by miniME @ 9:25 AM
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