SIZE4

Dog world

Haven't done this for more than half a year now...but kinda missing it...writing just whatever comes to mind without really planning what to say.

Tiring..it is...planning. Plan than predict what will happen...hoping than putting your efforts into things...and sometimes you get what you want, sometimes you don't. Life is not about reaping what you sow. That's just what adults say to children so that they work and have hope in life. When you work hard at something, you want something in return, something in your favour. It doesn't always work like that. You'll get what is destined for you, and you're supposed to make the best out of it. It is not fair for most people who work so hard at something. Old news flash!!! LIFE ISNT' FAIR.

Maybe that's why I lost my drive to fight...I was ambitious once upon a time. hehe...was a great era for myself. I called it era because everything was so clear to me, what I want in life, what I want to do and what I want to become. Everything was planned down to every single detail. It was great, having all your life planned out, and all turned the way you want it to be. I am exactly where I wanted myself to be. All as planned. It wasn't too difficult up to this point, but it was tiring.

I guess I just have to admit it to myself I'm becoming mellow. I want to be happy with what I have now, and enjoy my life to the fullest.

It's not bad at all this...motivation, having ambition..it's all what makes us human.

The thing is, all this obsession about having ambition in life sometimes takes out the joy that you're supposed to experience while achieving that goal of yours. People look down on others who are not as ambitious as them. Are they really lesser than those who are? Can't we just be happy with what we have?

I suppose we can't...just because that's how God created us...we have lust. The lust to have more and more and nothing will make us content until we get what we don't have. It is supposed to be a good thing, having this ambition, to drive you forward so that you can improve yourself to be a better person than you were before. But I'm afraid this thing called success comes in a package. If it means I have to be ruthless to achieve success...I don't think I want it. "It's a dog eat dog world" is what one of my friend said...and everytime she said that it sends shivers down my spine.

Wondering why I'm thinking all this?

I just successfully entered that "dog-eat-dog world".

I'm scared shit.

posted by miniME @ 6:04 PM