SIZE4

Green is just not my colour

Recalled a conversation with mama a few days ago.

Mama scolded my sister for going out with one of her male friend who is not her boyfriend.

Tak baik orang tengok she said. Dah ade boyfriend, pastu keluar dengan lelaki lain, M is a small town. People will talk.

Kenapa nak peduli orang cakap ape? Kalau nak jaga sangat ape orang lain cakap, sendiri yang sakit hati. I said. A defensive attitude I developed after 20 years of trying to please everyone around me, but making myself frustrated and angry in the process. Now I don't care what other people(who doesn't matter to me) think about me.

Kita hidup dalam community. Mama and papa need people's support to do our job(mama and papa are both in education). Kalau nama mama and papa buruk, nanti susah nak buat kerja.
Then mama told me about our front neighbour who badmouthed mama to other people. What?? mama kena fitnah? The so-called neighbour(DO) told another neighbour(lets call her AK) that mama treated our Indonesian helper(Kak M) badly. AK told mama about it because they had been neighbours since mama was a little kid, and she knows mama would not do such a thing. Mama was horrified, she told Kak M about it. Then Kak M told my mum that apparently the DO's maid had been coming to our house and saying bad stuffs about mama.

Kenapa dengki sangat? I don't understand why people have to badmouth other people around them. To make them feel better about themselves? This things always makes me frustrated with Malay/Muslim community. Makes me think twice about coming back and living in Malaysia. I don't like to gossip about R's big cars, S's big house, about G's pretty daughter marrying an ugly and balding rich tycoon. I don't like to analyse other people's marriage, I don't want to know why T's husband is cheating on her, or why suddenly W is not wearing tudung and going to Marie France's Bodyline. But sometimes, I realised when I refuse to join in this kind of conversation(gossipping) I feel that I am being unfriendly and somewhat stuck-up. Not to say that I'm so angelic that I don't gossip at all...of course I do(I am only human...), I do gossip with a very few people that are close to me, but not with just anyone I meet on the street. I do not make assumptions based on nothing or make up stories out of nowhere just because I want to be in a conversation or for whatever reasons.

Diorang jealous kat mama kot. Mama said.

Isy, kenapa pulak jealous kat mama? Perasan best pulak mak aku nih...hehe...

Ye la...anak2 mama semua turned out OK, belajar oversea, yang perempuan cantik2 (isy..puji anak sendiri pulak dia...buat2 tersipu malu my sister and me...hehe) buat medic pulak dua2 tu. H(my brother) pun not bad jugak masuk uni buat engineering. Mama and papa ramai orang respect (being in education). Equally, mesti ade orang dengki. My sister and I terkedu.

Envy. Evil thing.

posted by miniME @ 1:11 AM